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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16953) - you deserved it (1335)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33833) - you deserved it (1561)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the person that interviewed me for a job was the same person I called a "fat bitch" at a baseball game after she knocked over my drink while she was dancing. She recognized me too. FML

#20119038
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6053) - you deserved it (26191)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:16am - work - by leafscupwin - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16491) - you deserved it (1328)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18283) - you deserved it (1640)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

#20116235
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14593) - you deserved it (2191)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:43am - love - by lonelygirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15073) - you deserved it (1247)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15793) - you deserved it (1366)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

#20112748
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12956) - you deserved it (976)

On 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

#20112275
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (1592)

On 10/11/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by future missing person maker person thingy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

#20111379
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29978) - you deserved it (1468)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm - animals - by AdamwithanA (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (3969)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18486) - you deserved it (7584)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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