FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I wrote a song for my boyfriend on paper. The first thing he did was correct my grammar. FML

by Ally / 09/26/2015 at 9:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, during the "what can your manager do to help with your career aspirations" section of my annual review, my manager basically told me she wouldn't help me and I should quit. FML

by officework / 09/24/2015 at 3:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found out my bank charged me $50 for not having any money. Way to go bank, way to go. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2015 at 9:21pm / Canada / Money

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

by mayhemily / 09/21/2015 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was confiding in my grandma about how lonely I am and how everything in my life seems to be falling apart. While I was in mid-sentence, she rolled her eyes and made a show of removing her hearing aid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2015 at 1:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she has decided to become a stay-at-home mom for our dog. FML

by connorcaffery / 09/18/2015 at 5:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss told me to stop giving work to our college intern because it's an embarrassment to have someone who hasn't finished college working for him. This is the same boss who constantly brags about being a high school drop out. FML

by IkeTheIntern / 09/18/2015 at 4:02pm / Canada / Work

Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML

by wormsmeat / 09/17/2015 at 5:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I decided to give a break to my students halfway through my 3 hour lecture. The break became the end of the lecture, because nobody came back. FML

by MedHistory / 09/15/2015 at 4:40pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

by meunluckycharms / 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I got excited about finishing up my laundry detergent and softener, because I could get new ones. FML

by TheVengefulGeek / 09/13/2015 at 5:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2015 at 2:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love