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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (9709)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22532) - you deserved it (1871)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46891) - you deserved it (8755)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

#2150
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15856) - you deserved it (3554)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:10am - love - by sadtimes - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

#2149
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (3785)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by unifail - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

#2132
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4421) - you deserved it (26910)

On 01/22/2009 at 2:02am - misc - by JBone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16426) - you deserved it (9426)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (2880)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

#1930
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9614) - you deserved it (18565)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by babygurl69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33620) - you deserved it (9169)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18416) - you deserved it (3286)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (8855)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (1879)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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