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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (4432)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48604) - you deserved it (6628)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (9497)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11654) - you deserved it (28970)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7642) - you deserved it (18071)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (2175)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19214) - you deserved it (1630)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6748) - you deserved it (28176)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38431) - you deserved it (5215)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (9714)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22563) - you deserved it (1871)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46930) - you deserved it (8758)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

#2150
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15873) - you deserved it (3555)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:10am - love - by sadtimes - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)



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