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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I forgot my work clothes at home so my boss gave me a jacket with a name patch that said "Mike". Still wearing my work clothes I ran into my ex-girlfriend on my way home. We were together for five years until she dumped me for a guy name Mike. FML

#131140
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39697) - you deserved it (3875)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:42am - love - by laf@me (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

#123831
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48816) - you deserved it (5480)

On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (49244)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

#120192
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (49964)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78858) - you deserved it (4863)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

#112173
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54703) - you deserved it (2777)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by jeezy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in seventeen magazine. They were in the "what not to wear" category. FML

#101622
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34037) - you deserved it (12315)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by secenteenmagazine. - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266084) - you deserved it (59849)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42847) - you deserved it (2874)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

#80868
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34420) - you deserved it (4634)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by Kev (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44264) - you deserved it (3436)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (11883)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36614) - you deserved it (9309)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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