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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135169) - you deserved it (11989)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it an yelled at me!! Best part? She frequently lecture me about how I waste my money an spend rresponsibly!! FML

#616286
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60971) - you deserved it (4634)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:06am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I Bought Body Chocolate To Use In Bed With My Boyfriend In The Hopes Of Spicing Things Up . Everything Was Going Great, Until I Tasted It . It Was Disgusting And Actually Made Me Gag A Little . Later, My Boyfriend Checked The Label And Started Laughing . It Had Expired 3 Years Ago . FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (77629)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Taday I was using ma dad's cell because I ad broken mine. I was texting ma boyfriend all day wen ma dad needed is pone back. I forgot to tell ma boyfriend tat ma dad would be using te pone. My boyfriend ten texted grapically wat e wanted to do to ma dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you deserved it (96739)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

2day I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wantd to look nice at school 4 a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time yur hair looks like that. You could have atleast combd it!" FML

#574759
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64790) - you deserved it (5575)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Rai (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend cummed over for dinner, but couldn't eat because e ad just gotten is tongue pierced . My grandpa eard tis, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet tat's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective fater was sitting rigt next to im . FML

#572670
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80182) - you deserved it (8955)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, yur teeth will look bad lyk that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. real FML

#572216
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58750) - you deserved it (4088)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:19am - misc - by teef (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, I SIGND UP FIR AN ONLINE DATING SITE. AFTER COMPLETING THERE PERSONALITY QUIZ, I SET THE DISTANCE TO A 60 MILE RADIUS OF WHERE I LIVE. THEN TO THE COUNTRY. THEN TO THE WHOLE WORLD. I GOT NO MATCHES FIR ANY OF THE SETTINGS. FML

#555846
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115953) - you deserved it (15625)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whan I walkad into work all of mah co-workars wara giggling and asking ( How was YOUR night last night? ). Last night I had sax fir tha frst tima with somaona I'm saaing sacratly (with good raason). That parson is mah boss. Ha told avaryona. FML

#548239
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66651) - you deserved it (28389)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, At The Gym, I Saw This Really Pretty Girl. Trying To Impres Her, I Started Lifting With Heavy Wieghts. One Of The Wieght Slipped Out Of Hand. I Then Dropped The Other One, Trying To Make It Seem Lyk It Was On Purpose. I Dropped The Wieght On Phone. I Squealed. She Giggled. FML

#547480
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11635) - you deserved it (81929)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , mah mother and I walked past mah boyfriend , whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way mah mother says , "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied , "That's mah boyfriend." She then asks , "Does he know that?" FML

#532977
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62166) - you deserved it (13104)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good partshen his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to looool see her everyday. FML

#511211
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46412) - you deserved it (19986)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend!! I was bord so I decidd to mess around!! So I puttd down my remote and unbuttond his pants!! Two minute in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killd without you!! Beside you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71351) - you deserved it (11903)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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