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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

#3525
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21371) - you deserved it (5150)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (3000)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5821) - you deserved it (30617)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (5719)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (4430)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48574) - you deserved it (6624)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31992) - you deserved it (9493)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11649) - you deserved it (28949)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7632) - you deserved it (18055)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20973) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (1630)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6740) - you deserved it (28140)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38407) - you deserved it (5211)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)



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