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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

#1970945
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31380) - you deserved it (16493)

On 05/15/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML

#1956453
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49855) - you deserved it (9743)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

#1926739
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62401) - you deserved it (2614)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

#1926595
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (51427)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:11am - work - by MC (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

#1905564
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39733) - you deserved it (18534)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a parent came into my class and told one of my 6 year old students that their grandma died. Then the parent left. The kid started crying from the news, which then got all the other students crying. I spent the rest of the day comforting a class of kids crying over someone else's grandma. FML

#1902044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50933) - you deserved it (3344)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15018) - you deserved it (76262)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7191) - you deserved it (78781)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up at 4:30am because I forgot to turn my Blackberry off 'loud'. I woke up to find an email from my ex-boyfriend's crazy mother who had sent me pictures of her son's wedding that had happened over the weekend. I am still single. FML

#1869092
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55279) - you deserved it (4233)

On 05/12/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by freckle82 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a long day of working on my feet, I came home looking forward to soaking my aching feet in a foot spa. When I was pulling the machine out of a closet, it slipped and came crashing down on my feet. It broke. So did three of my toes. FML

#1842367
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47473) - you deserved it (3926)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77607) - you deserved it (15041)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

#1818781
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62162) - you deserved it (6034)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I poured myself some punch into a mug I have sitting on a shelf at my studio. Upon tipping it upside down to swallow the last few delicious drops, I see a cluster of mouse droppings stuck to the bottom. FML



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