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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (7214)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

#3778
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17549) - you deserved it (2456)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

#3587
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19608) - you deserved it (6373)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:39am - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic and to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her... Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

#3525
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (5144)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by IEatDammit - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (2998)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5812) - you deserved it (30570)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (5716)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (4427)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48515) - you deserved it (6618)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

#2899
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31959) - you deserved it (9489)

On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised I like Britney Spears. FML

#2831
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11633) - you deserved it (28917)

On 01/27/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by embaressed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (18021)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)



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