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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

#2132
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4408) - you deserved it (26800)

On 01/22/2009 at 2:02am - misc - by JBone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16342) - you deserved it (9414)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17702) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

#1930
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (18473)

On 01/20/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by babygurl69 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32939) - you deserved it (9036)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17833) - you deserved it (3216)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (8848)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (1872)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17641) - you deserved it (2816)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom gave me and my brothers each a cd of her recent photoshoot for her book. I found out later that my mom didn't know how to burn only SOME of the photos on the CD, and ended up burning all of the photos onto the CD. Some of the photos were provocative. FML

#1617
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (1598)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by scarred4life - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I posted a question on a forum asking if my week old nipple piercing would get hooked on anything easily. People assured me that it would be fine. An hour later I had to climb over a wall to get something and in lowering myself down I forgot about it and dragged my nipple along the wall. FML

#1510
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6396) - you deserved it (23267)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:48pm - misc - by jdot747 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my house got egged and since it is the winter the eggs froze. They used two dozen eggs. FML

#1499
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18436) - you deserved it (1691)

On 01/17/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

#1439
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14177) - you deserved it (4371)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by BobbyMalone - Canada (Ontario)



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