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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML

#409888
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35301) - you deserved it (90769)

On 03/17/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by PinkTornado - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (137135) - you deserved it (36942)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

#385817
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114108) - you deserved it (43072)

On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent a solid four hours and over one hundred dollars preparing a nice fancy meal for my new girlfriend. A delicious three pound rack of ribs with a sweet and sour marinade. Steam broccoli with melted cheese. Home made buttermilk biscuits. I serve the meal. She doesn't eat beef. FML

#374506
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29324) - you deserved it (64778)

On 03/16/2009 at 5:55am - misc - by WhatdyaDo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML

#369529
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81661) - you deserved it (14648)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (183079) - you deserved it (28627)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML

#334298
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59110) - you deserved it (9279)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by sad45 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (64650)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

#301590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48133) - you deserved it (11587)

On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (189069)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106071) - you deserved it (4444)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by the sound of power tools at 6:30am. I stuck my head out my window and yelled at them to shut up. They didn't stop. I walked out the front door to find the bastard. It was firemen. They were sawing down the door of my neighbour's burning house. FML

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

#278684
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79777) - you deserved it (4944)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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