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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

#120192
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7185) - you deserved it (49914)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78296) - you deserved it (4823)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML

#112173
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54641) - you deserved it (2772)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by jeezy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was happy because my exact shirt and sweater were in seventeen magazine. They were in the "what not to wear" category. FML

#101622
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (12307)

On 02/22/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by secenteenmagazine. - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (263506) - you deserved it (59702)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42736) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

#80868
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34349) - you deserved it (4632)

On 02/19/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by Kev (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (3432)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML

#59488
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32950) - you deserved it (11865)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

#51436
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36531) - you deserved it (9302)

On 02/16/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by dammit_ (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a card for my birthday and told me to open it 10 minutes after he'd gone; I waited for 5. In the card was written, "It's not working out, but here's $20." FML

#48184
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60927) - you deserved it (3358)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by blah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing musical chairs at a family reunion. It's a well known fact that I'm competitive and tend to hip check people to get that last chair. It came down to me and The Nana. I won. The Nana has a broken hip. FML

#46151
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7388) - you deserved it (64434)

On 02/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by nana. (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

#45902
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (2539)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:32am - misc - by lamesauce (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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