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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML

#2695
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (17975)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Danana - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20858) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18983) - you deserved it (1616)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (28021)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37666) - you deserved it (5115)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I am interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

#2383
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (9600)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:03pm - love - by Durrrrrr - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22438) - you deserved it (1866)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46729) - you deserved it (8744)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

#2150
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15483) - you deserved it (3515)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:10am - love - by sadtimes - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I drove to my university to pick up forms and books. When I parked at 2:58 there was 30 mins on the meter. I returned at 3:32 only to find a parking ticket issued at 3:31. The worst part is, the books were not available until next week and I could've got the forms online. FML

#2149
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16773) - you deserved it (3775)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by unifail - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

#2132
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4408) - you deserved it (26794)

On 01/22/2009 at 2:02am - misc - by JBone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML

#2075
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16338) - you deserved it (9413)

On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17690) - you deserved it (2866)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)



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