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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17137) - you deserved it (22450)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34171) - you deserved it (7477)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (15383)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (3658)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

#14536
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26356) - you deserved it (6169)

On 02/08/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML

#14320
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33651) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by klee (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

#11273
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34169) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

#8789
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46160) - you deserved it (3522)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:40pm - kids - by teach - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

#8356
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10960) - you deserved it (41454)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:05pm - health - by BritneyFink (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (34014)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58933) - you deserved it (4777)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

#5881
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39397) - you deserved it (2722)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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