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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39664) - you deserved it (8896)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38631) - you deserved it (3390)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35330) - you deserved it (3305)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21296) - you deserved it (27468)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, my horrible boss sent me a Facebook friend request for the fifth time, in her attempt to not only bother me at work, but also through social media. FML

#21254692
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32751) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm - work - by notyourfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to our new cat. My mom said she'd rather get rid of me than the cat. FML

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42500) - you deserved it (3882)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (3936)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (3171)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39919) - you deserved it (3809)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45319) - you deserved it (4755)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)



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