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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

#11273
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (1822)

On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

#8789
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43205) - you deserved it (3263)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:40pm - kids - by teach - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

#8356
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10678) - you deserved it (40963)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:05pm - health - by BritneyFink (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (33592)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56799) - you deserved it (4563)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (2364)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML

#5881
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38267) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML

#4860
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8278) - you deserved it (49649)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I talked to my boss about the fact that I have been diagnosed as bipolar and I am having a really hard time with it. He told me to look on the bright side, now that I'm crazy I will never have to do Jury Duty. FML

#4725
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/01/2009 at 1:08pm - health - by crazymuch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33739) - you deserved it (7267)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (9699)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20655) - you deserved it (2319)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (7065)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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