FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

by rebeccaremily / 10/04/2009 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

by Pwnedofthedead / 10/03/2009 at 11:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

by nonexistant / 10/02/2009 at 3:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my dad to ask why my university tuition had not been paid. He said that "my school was too expensive and he couldn't afford it." He then asked me if I would take in his mail while he was away. He was taking his new wife to Hawaii, apparently it's beautiful this time of year. FML

by ill / 10/02/2009 at 1:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 10:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2009 at 1:56am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

by Rockyio / 09/30/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 1:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2009 at 10:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I was chastised by the CEO in the middle of a management meeting for showing up late to work every day, despite being in my office before 9:00am every morning. It was my 5th day on the job and no one had bothered to tell me that the office opens at 8:00am, and not 9:00am. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2009 at 1:26am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got fired from my job for not "interacting with customers." That's understandable. The thing is, my job didn't actually include any customer interaction. FML

by justfired / 09/28/2009 at 10:57pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 10:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love