FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

by Dora / 10/12/2009 at 9:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

by ohgosh / 10/12/2009 at 1:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called me and told me he wanted me to stay the night. I decided to wear my sexiest outfit for him so I put on my kinky nurse outfit and drove over to his house. I let myself in his front door, to which I found 40 of my closest friends staring at me for my surprise birthday party. FML

by perfectmoment / 10/10/2009 at 6:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

by poorman / 10/09/2009 at 7:22pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Money

Today, I was helping my elderly landlady (75 years old) carry in her groceries. She said "Thanks" and then handed me a notice of eviction. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 12:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went shopping for a new pair of jeans. I was feeling good about the fact that I was going down a waist size until the cashier decided to discuss with me, three co-workers, and the ten other people in line how she didn't even know jeans came in sizes that big. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2009 at 9:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I came home from work to my basement flooding. With sewage. That wasn't from our house. FML

by razzipost1 / 10/05/2009 at 1:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 1:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

by BadStuden / 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML

by backtosquareone / 10/04/2009 at 5:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

by rebeccaremily / 10/04/2009 at 3:03am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous