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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

#2332954
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (15594)

On 05/27/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Lmop68 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

#2317005
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (3945)

On 05/26/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by yaa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

#2295349
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17095) - you deserved it (60463)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

#2282625
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60414) - you deserved it (9265)

On 05/25/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by anythingjean (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML

#2237566
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (220787)

On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got back from a service trip to Kenya, where I had no running water or electricity. I encouraged my friends to go green and help raise awareness by conserving as much electricity as possible. I return home to find that all my lights have been on for 2 weeks. FML

#2232813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14689) - you deserved it (60322)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:46am - misc - by APRRECIATION (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56383) - you deserved it (43811)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

#2225045
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8826) - you deserved it (56777)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by DQB (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

#2210993
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49741) - you deserved it (9642)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:48pm - love - by jimbop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

#2207384
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60501) - you deserved it (6066)

On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

#2204449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19175) - you deserved it (54955)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada

Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML

#2170558
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13404) - you deserved it (41827)

On 05/22/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by dummy (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

#2143757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15918) - you deserved it (54556)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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