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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML

#690128
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (72460)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Bucko321 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, two really hot guys pulled up in a car next to mine. They were waving at me and pointing down, I figured they were being pigs so I flipped them off. Turns out they were trying to warn me of the flat tire I had. FML

#689967
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7399) - you deserved it (76066)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:14pm - misc - by flattire (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44383) - you deserved it (19821)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going through my old MSN conversations. I then realized that when I first got MSN, I didn't know that messages you sent after people went offline would be delivered to them when they signed in. I used to type 'I love you' to my crush after every time he went offline. FML

#665920
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (83846)

On 03/28/2009 at 6:13pm - love - by WeezysBaby (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

#656486
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49950) - you deserved it (22836)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML

#653658
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90322) - you deserved it (8924)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother was vaccuming the stairs. Trying to be polite, I climbed over the banister to the floor above, so I wouldn't interrupt her. She looked at me odd and said, "I'm surprised that held your weight." The banister is maple and steel. FML

#653813
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48630) - you deserved it (4950)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - misc - by Anonymity (man) - Canada

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14873) - you deserved it (134255)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML

#642666
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101554) - you deserved it (5209)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

#637749
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91263) - you deserved it (8581)

On 03/27/2009 at 1:12am - love - by w00tz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

#617200
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (133750) - you deserved it (11921)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by lollipopp56 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML

#616286
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60740) - you deserved it (4619)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:06am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20051) - you deserved it (75883)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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