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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML

#334298
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58218) - you deserved it (9148)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by sad45 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38512) - you deserved it (64414)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

#301590
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47972) - you deserved it (11551)

On 03/13/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (187351)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

#297677
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105107) - you deserved it (4384)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by depresso (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was woken up by the sound of power tools at 6:30am. I stuck my head out my window and yelled at them to shut up. They didn't stop. I walked out the front door to find the bastard. It was firemen. They were sawing down the door of my neighbour's burning house. FML

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML

#278684
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79479) - you deserved it (4924)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by uncomfortable (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

#259596
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83929) - you deserved it (26741)

On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a dance. I was griding with this guy when I felt something move in his pants. I stood up and stepped away. He replied with "Don't flatter yourself, it was my phone". FML

#254929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19937) - you deserved it (49978)

On 03/09/2009 at 8:26pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

#254366
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (5176)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Noname (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (180385) - you deserved it (13152)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74622) - you deserved it (7899)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)



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