FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants by my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

by lauren_rox / 11/08/2009 at 12:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

by MissBeEyeTeeSeeH / 11/08/2009 at 6:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

by munnyfish / 11/07/2009 at 2:16am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

by bdayloser / 11/07/2009 at 12:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

by Airhead / 11/06/2009 at 2:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML

by failedexam / 11/06/2009 at 1:52am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML

by Xero_316 / 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I spent 65 dollars in cab fare and skipped half of my grade 12 classes, including a unit test, to see my girlfriend on our two year anniversary. I arrived just in time to see her kiss her other boyfriend of over a year good bye. FML

by x / 11/05/2009 at 3:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

by Meggie / 11/05/2009 at 12:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 12:05am / Canada (Northwest Territories) / Love

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

by justin_99 / 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

by CandlesSuck / 11/01/2009 at 10:44pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love