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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I found my daughter on Facebook after years of looking for her after the divorce. It turns out it was my ex pretending to be my daughter so she could track me down. FML

#27666
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (5412)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by toad (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

#26407
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16337) - you deserved it (21476)

On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28804) - you deserved it (6469)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friends stomach. It was my Principal. FML

#24455
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20152) - you deserved it (14166)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by da man (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23283) - you deserved it (3483)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

#14536
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21807) - you deserved it (5320)

On 02/08/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML

#14320
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30626) - you deserved it (1873)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by klee (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her facebook status said "Pointless day, gone to bed". FML

#11273
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29010) - you deserved it (1810)

On 02/06/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by pointlessperson (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

#8789
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42988) - you deserved it (3254)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:40pm - kids - by teach - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

#8356
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10028) - you deserved it (39725)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:05pm - health - by BritneyFink (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16266) - you deserved it (26796)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, two girls invited me up to their room at 3 am. As soon as we pressed the up button on the elevator, the fire alarm went off. FML

#6093
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56538) - you deserved it (4549)

On 02/03/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SoClose (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

#5894
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23954) - you deserved it (2353)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:49am - love - by 751920 (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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