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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36281) - you deserved it (3258)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52248) - you deserved it (4746)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (6149)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me of how I had really hurt his feelings. Apparently, not wanting to be sent a photo of his poop is hurtful. FML

#21188342
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (5545)

On 06/25/2014 at 7:38pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, our dishwasher door broke. My mom made me sit there for an hour straight, holding the door shut so it would work. FML

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

#21185584
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42387) - you deserved it (8106)

On 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm - money - by amused (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44658) - you deserved it (4627)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband decided that if he's not hungry, then I'm not allowed to make myself any food. FML

#21182292
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44937) - you deserved it (5445)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36937) - you deserved it (12399)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

#21174767
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

#21174074
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (6513)

On 06/14/2014 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53401) - you deserved it (8988)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43271) - you deserved it (5450)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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