FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2015 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML

by grossed out mom / 07/08/2015 at 9:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

by --- / 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

by bleachingmykidsbrains / 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

by ouch / 07/01/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

by quiet_screaming_ / 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

by mytoehurts / 06/26/2015 at 9:09am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

by wtfkasey / 06/25/2015 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

by pregnantfatty / 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work