Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I started going on and on looool about dogs and there different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, ( I fucking love animals ), I didn't think it through and said, ( I love fucking animals ). real FML

#21131182
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49570) - you deserved it (22238)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I Raad That Agghitas Maka A Good Hair Traatmant. Evarything Was Going Fina Until , Without Thinking , I Turnd Tha Hot Watar On To Wash It Out. I'm Still Picking Tha Cookd Agg Out Of My Hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (33312)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decidd to face one of my feres. I've never had a brthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out fir my brthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I receivd were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

#21127076
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40254) - you deserved it (4357)

On 04/30/2014 at 10:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

2day an old guy phond the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he think it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45657) - you deserved it (3562)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today.. . I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook . To make it less obvious.. . I added 15 other people as well . Everyone added me back.. . except him . mega FML

#21125472
120 comments

Today, I bought mah niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (17627)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

I finally decidd to do something productive an clean mah room . When I went to pick up the frst thing off mah floor I hit mah head on mah desk an gave myself a concussion . FML

#21123165
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35254) - you deserved it (6366)

On 04/26/2014 at 12:22am - misc - by vee2013 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, ma landlord started sowing ma apartment, were I ave lived and paid rent for over 2 yeres, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize tat I was moving. FML

#21120676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42514) - you deserved it (3082)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday, I Was At The Sandwich Shop I Work In . A Customer Came In An Requested An Assorted Sub . As I Finished Putting On The Sauces, I Looked Up To See The Customer's Face Set In Horror . Apparently I Didn't Notice That I Licked My Fingers Clean After Getting Some Mayonnaise On Them . FML

Yesterday, mah biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone an used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (3281)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, mah drug addict of a roommate convincd herself mah rd kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, an looool hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I textd mah ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and askd him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". real FML

#21118642
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (10339)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, son said is first complete sentence: ( Mommy likes sit. ) Not only will e not stop saying it, I ave no idea wo taugt im to say it in te first place. FML

#21116585
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39536) - you deserved it (4383)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: