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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (91325)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have atleast combed it!" FML

#574759
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59027) - you deserved it (5036)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Rai (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76030) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

#572216
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56718) - you deserved it (3904)

On 03/24/2009 at 4:19am - misc - by teef (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

#555846
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105026) - you deserved it (14060)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

#548239
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63076) - you deserved it (27131)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

#547480
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9243) - you deserved it (74582)

On 03/23/2009 at 1:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

#532977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59704) - you deserved it (12671)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

#511211
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43018) - you deserved it (18532)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67776) - you deserved it (10948)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

#488683
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13749) - you deserved it (61886)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

#487128
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84660) - you deserved it (8485)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:08am - animals - by frame (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got an e-mail from a guy I'd had a one night stand with. He wanted to get together to talk about it. Turns out he's in rehab and he wanted to address the biggest mistakes he'd ever made in his life. I am a on a drug addict's list of regrets. FML

#485057
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53372) - you deserved it (12240)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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