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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet. I had to sift through my own poo to get it back. FML

#1147441
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57436) - you deserved it (17197)

On 04/20/2009 at 6:05am - misc - by ohhelllllno (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year old boy asked me "What do you do when you really want something?". I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML

#1086361
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43444) - you deserved it (4520)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:51pm - kids - by ZAS (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having a dream that I was climbing out of a well. While almost out, I felt someone grab my knee; I screamed loud in terror. When I opened my eyes, nearly 25 people were staring at me. The lady across from me apologized for hitting me with her bag. I was on the C-train. FML

#1050390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41092) - you deserved it (6592)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by bluemonday - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to sneak up on my girlfriend who was sitting in her car with one of her girlfriends. I snuck up to the driver's side window and tried to startle her by banging on the window. The window was down. My thumb went right in her eye. She has to wear a patch for 2 weeks. FML

#1021558
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13087) - you deserved it (62383)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by shiftybizniss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after two weeks of living on plain pasta, I finally got my paycheck and was excited that I'd get real food, and ride the subway instead of exhausting my malnourished body with the two-hour walk to work. My surname was misspelt on the check; the bank is holding it for ten days. FML

#985016
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72753) - you deserved it (3469)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:48am - money - by A. (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML

#973990
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54260) - you deserved it (5048)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by wishbone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68679) - you deserved it (24775)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93068) - you deserved it (21344)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving and I saw was a dog running onto the road, I slammed on the brakes to a completely stop. Multiple cars crashed into the back of my car. It turns out it wasn't a dog, it was just newspaper blown by the wind. FML

#943604
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (47025)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:41am - animals - by Peta - Canada

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to close a simple $400 deal with a homeowner. He spent 3 hours telling me about his life story including his marital problems, his philosophical views of the world, AND he read me 20 pages of haiku poems. Only 3 hours later did he tell me he couldn't accept my deal. FML

#911885
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45579) - you deserved it (4519)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:42am - money - by canabana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30559) - you deserved it (38214)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

#910687
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30722) - you deserved it (58176)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

#910360
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56242) - you deserved it (4388)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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