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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I got flowers at work. I was excited until I saw they were from my good friend saying, "Sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend!" FML

#5446240
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (2442)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:16pm - love - by Tally (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

#5441991
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11436) - you deserved it (76747)

On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40748) - you deserved it (2934)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week they fire me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door that said "if not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60 and my job. FML

#5413535
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:08pm - work - by unemployed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13780) - you deserved it (47470)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was unable to retrieve my old contact list from my old phone, so I sent out a mass email asking my friends to "Give me your contact info, unless you don't want me to text/call you!" No one is responding. FML

#5390873
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32022) - you deserved it (11419)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

#5387856
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (101259)

On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a YouTube video of a guy scratching a knife and a screwdriver on his iPod, and at the end he showed how there were no scratches and the screen was still clean. I took my iPod touch and did the same with a knife. It didn't work. FML

#5355612
490 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21667) - you deserved it (252583)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by MgmEboy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

#5343889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36814) - you deserved it (5988)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML

#5325412
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13528) - you deserved it (30341)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

#5292418
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21783) - you deserved it (99932)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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