FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML

by UptoHERE / 02/03/2010 at 10:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Holidays

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2010 at 8:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

by lauris1306 / 01/31/2010 at 2:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was caught going on Facebook at work. I was called into my boss' office to be reprimanded, and while he was lecturing me on the importance of staying focussed and the misuse of company property, his computer beeped. It was his Facebook chat notifying him of a new message. FML

by boredatwork / 01/29/2010 at 10:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

by Skier / 01/28/2010 at 9:01pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I had to cancel all of the plans to go away on a romantic weekend with my boyfriend. My parents are going out of town for a night and I have to stay home a babysit my little sister. She's 19. FML

by bw9669 / 01/28/2010 at 2:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

by thisucks / 01/28/2010 at 8:59am / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Love

Today, I had a very important test. Last night, I'd had such bad leg pains that I couldn't sleep, so I took two very strong painkillers and went to sleep pain-free. I apparently accidentally overdosed, because when I woke up, I couldn't see properly or even stand up. And I missed my test. FML

by fuuuuck / 01/27/2010 at 7:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, while my teacher was in the middle of a lecture, I accidentally made it so my laptop would display everything upside down. It took me the rest of class to get it right side up again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 2:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2010 at 1:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a message from my ex saying how sorry he was for everything he did. He also said that if he wasn't getting married and having a kid we could still be together. We broke up a year ago. FML

by nubbins / 01/26/2010 at 1:56am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I tried talking to my boyfriend about our sex life. I was trying to express that I feel like we don't do it enough, but he wasn't very responsive. I ended up saying, "I wish you had a bigger sex drive" to which he answered, "I wish you had bigger boobs." FML

by mairelys / 01/26/2010 at 1:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML

by 420dits / 01/25/2010 at 8:16pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous