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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41618) - you deserved it (23374)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

#4603777
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43433) - you deserved it (16954)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

#4603530
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52721) - you deserved it (5487)

On 08/17/2009 at 3:49pm - love - by ditched (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went through my 15 year old daughter's internet history. On google she searched 'Excuses to get away from your dad' and 5 other variations of the same thing. We were supposed to be having a father daughter day tomorrow. FML

#4576081
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49551) - you deserved it (16095)

On 08/16/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by alealovespurple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finished writing the most perfect love letter for this girl at summer school. At the end of the letter I signed: Your secret admirer. Cute, right? Not really. Turns out I was so anxious to finish the letter that I ended up writing my name at the bottom. FML

#4563913
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10619) - you deserved it (48657)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:17am - love - by footyfallout (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11 but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

#4562871
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10947) - you deserved it (46659)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by revalc (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

#4562755
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37489) - you deserved it (2262)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by Tiff676 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML

#4548386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44124) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by iltdtsm - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I decided to be safe and tested a small dime-sized amount of Nair on my inner arm before using it. I didn't react badly. But as soon as it was washed off from my down-there hair I sure as hell reacted, with small bumpy red dots that look like an STD. FML

#4540987
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33401) - you deserved it (12420)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:22am - health - by Dammit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125530) - you deserved it (6531)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex I realized two things. First, I can't remember the last time my boyfriend gave me an orgasm, and secondly I think the curtains slightly clash with the duvet cover. I was more annoyed with the second one. FML

#4527001
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44942) - you deserved it (9696)

On 08/14/2009 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by vicgal - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (22149)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86572) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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