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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went to a restaurant and only brought $14 with me to eat. I ordered and ate my meal, then went to the counter to pay for it. I threw $2 into the tip jar then got my bill. My bill was $13.86. I had to reach into the tip jar and take my $2 back so I could pay for my meal. FML

#3046159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12227) - you deserved it (50222)

On 06/19/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by pinkplasticjesus (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (99986)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teenytiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didnt shake my hand back. FML

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

#2984203
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38355) - you deserved it (5319)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by coco (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (64494)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got into a heated argument at a restaurant with a guy I am seeing because he refused to let me pay for the bill and I thought it was sexist. When he finally agreed, I gave the waiter my card, only to have him return a minute later telling me it was declined. FML

#2965217
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10443) - you deserved it (69702)

On 06/17/2009 at 11:25am - money - by feminist (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

#2921881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45163) - you deserved it (5981)

On 06/15/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Hotdamnthisismyjam (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

#2903036
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36470) - you deserved it (3613)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by brutality (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

#2893086
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44613) - you deserved it (5704)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by not-so-happy-feet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53559) - you deserved it (2616)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

#2883400
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15099) - you deserved it (46248)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went out with a group of friends. I hadn't gone out in a few months since my fiancé left me. They promised me there wouldn't be drinking and would just be video game stuff. By 10pm, everyone was wasted, I got thrown up on and I had to walk home fifteen blocks. FML



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