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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52493) - you deserved it (13372)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47646) - you deserved it (14341)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I told my parents about the amazing guy I met. My mom immediately stormed out. My dad got up, looked at me and told me he's disappointed in me for "falling into the traps of the Internet," and leaves. I didn't meet him on the Internet. FML

#21073930
91 comments

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

#21072334
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (3815)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML

#21066140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42082) - you deserved it (3026)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40410) - you deserved it (3240)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42997) - you deserved it (9050)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53675) - you deserved it (6997)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41800) - you deserved it (5701)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44097) - you deserved it (9464)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43820) - you deserved it (15691)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (14239)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)



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