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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest ugliest man at the table looks me over then stares at my chest. He then starts to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

#2921881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45036) - you deserved it (5966)

On 06/15/2009 at 8:32pm - intimacy - by Hotdamnthisismyjam (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

#2903036
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (3591)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by brutality (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML

#2893086
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43842) - you deserved it (5589)

On 06/14/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by not-so-happy-feet (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53411) - you deserved it (2606)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of thing. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

#2883400
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15029) - you deserved it (46161)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:54am - intimacy - by Bes (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went out with a group of friends. I hadn't gone out in a few months since my fiancé left me. They promised me there wouldn't be drinking and would just be video game stuff. By 10pm, everyone was wasted, I got thrown up on and I had to walk home fifteen blocks. FML

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#2854895
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49229) - you deserved it (4315)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

#2826530
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46901) - you deserved it (7523)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:46am - love - by embarrassment (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

#2824083
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44829) - you deserved it (8727)

On 06/12/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

#2822887
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87275) - you deserved it (9928)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

#2820229
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57468) - you deserved it (3282)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by dontevenassk (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw some friends' cars at a friend's house, but thought nothing about it. Then I found pictures on Facebook of the pool party they had as a going away party for my friend who is leaving the country for three months. I had no idea my friend was leaving and I was the only one not invited. FML

#2813592
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40522) - you deserved it (4684)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

#2801625
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66385) - you deserved it (14775)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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