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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML

#3956685
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44542) - you deserved it (5084)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "is your dad home?" I replied "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

#3935367
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16299) - you deserved it (37335)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by jtaylor94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

#3932476
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61450) - you deserved it (3827)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by emkatch (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

#3926899
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (12952)

On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82896) - you deserved it (5670)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

#3911063
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5617) - you deserved it (62509)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the numbers mixed up. FML

#3910980
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42678) - you deserved it (2083)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by KimberleyIrene (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

#3898181
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37881) - you deserved it (11742)

On 07/20/2009 at 2:18am - love - by mchhhoi (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45079) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML

#3878606
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (26751)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML

#3874570
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10226) - you deserved it (56678)

On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

#3838963
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (3891)

On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML



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