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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonalds, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonalds. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

#5087862
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45038) - you deserved it (3275)

On 09/06/2009 at 7:12pm - money - by effmylife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML

#5074855
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (13129)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Porkchop05 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

#5072943
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43124) - you deserved it (5313)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by shoelace18 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML

#5072938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47371) - you deserved it (4290)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - love - by Nofatforme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came back from my 3 month vacation from France. During my vacation I lost 32lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML

#5064368
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43895) - you deserved it (4192)

On 09/05/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by nikkiquila_0699 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

#5064237
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7276) - you deserved it (43574)

On 09/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by indecentcameraexposure (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14623) - you deserved it (41732)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML

#5060700
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (8815)

On 09/05/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by uglychick (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a boy who was 11 years old. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be my boyfriend. I told him that I think he is a really great kid but I'm 17 so it would never work out. He said okay. When his parents came home he told them that I hit him and started crying. FML

#5035637
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49593) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:23am - kids - by NotYourLady (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53193) - you deserved it (3044)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, I was driving home from work and noticed the car behind me was tailgating me pretty badly. I was starting to get angry with the driver, and kept glancing in my rear view mirror at him. While I was doing so, the traffic ahead of me stopped, and I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#5013382
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9438) - you deserved it (38640)

On 09/03/2009 at 12:54am - misc - by FenderBender (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39734) - you deserved it (17354)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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