FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I walked in on my cat trying to mate with my favorite sweater. FML

by anon / 07/31/2010 at 1:04pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Intimacy

Today, my 20 year old son decided it would be funny to unbuckle my seat belt while the cops were right beside us. FML

by anne / 07/30/2010 at 7:23pm / Canada / Transportation

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth out. My mom didn't get my prescription for painkillers because she thought I'd get addicted. FML

by Richmond24 / 07/29/2010 at 3:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2010 at 2:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

by Marie / 07/27/2010 at 3:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

by anon / 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

by animelover / 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I managed to multitask too much at work. I turned around, adjusted my glasses, swept hair out of my face, and blinked. In the process I walked into my manager, causing me to simultaneously punch myself in the mouth. FML

by longday / 07/25/2010 at 2:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walk out to the living room, and tell my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He says no, and then pretends to fall asleep. FML

by Anonymous90 / 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out how much it hurts to be shot with a paintball in your open mouth. My mouth was only open to say I was hit. FML

by owowowow / 07/23/2010 at 9:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

by Not So Smart / 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my father made his bellybutton talk. In front of my new boyfriend. FML

by coffee_princess / 07/22/2010 at 7:14pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love