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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

#10624729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35062) - you deserved it (4795)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:00am - love - by likesboys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML

#10532654
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (4680)

On 05/14/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after taking a pregnancy test and carefully disposing of all the evidence so no one would find out, I realized I left the receipt for it on the bathroom counter. I noticed too late as I watch my mom step out of the bathroom, and my step-father go in right after. FML

#10520855
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9360) - you deserved it (30641)

On 05/14/2010 at 12:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom decided our whole family is going on a diet. Why? Because the vet told us our dog is overweight, and she "didn't want Twix to suffer alone." FML

#10501426
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33813) - you deserved it (4670)

On 05/13/2010 at 2:01am - health - by fatpooch (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML

#10433797
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33751) - you deserved it (4877)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:15am - intimacy - by izzie (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

#9387980
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17334) - you deserved it (23930)

On 03/25/2010 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by bad boyfriend - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML

#9261656
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9716) - you deserved it (51302)

On 03/21/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by retard99 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working, ripping siding off a house. I pulled off a sheet that was over my head. I got rained with what I thought was woodchips that was behind the siding. Turns out they were dead grasshoppers. Guess what I found in my bra after work. FML

#9178637
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (3578)

On 03/18/2010 at 1:45am - work - by xUnluckyx - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got into a fight with the dryer over a plastic toy car. My hand is bleeding and numb, three of my nails are broken and I have a bruise on my chin. The plastic car is still stuck in the now broken dryer. FML

#9150166
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (24759)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by Loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my parents I wanted to try modelling. I decided that since I have such a low self-esteem, that it might benefit me, and make me feel better about myself and how I look. The first thing out of my dad's mouth was, "What? Why? You're ugly." Thanks dad. FML

#9111538
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (7168)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25408) - you deserved it (3332)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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