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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today... I woke up after a nigt out at te bar... immediately remembering tat I ad lost ma cell pone... ma ID and someow spent $100. Feeling lyk sit already... ma friend ten goes on to tell me tat I flased te entre bar... and ran around te otel naked. FML

#6414325
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7230) - you deserved it (37465)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by drunkennight (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, since we hadn't been romantic fir a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut mah hair and snuggled up to mah husband in bed . He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, cummed back to bed and asked me wat was fir breakfast . FML

#6379949
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28447) - you deserved it (3590)

On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WAS LAUGHING AT A STORY OF A GRLHO HAD DROPPD HER CELLPHONE IN A HOTTUB AND RUIND IT. AS I WAS FEELING PRETTY GOOD ABOUT MYSELF, I THEN REALIZD THAT MY CELLPHONE WAS IN THE POCKET OF A SWEATER THAT I HAD JUST THROWN IN THE WASHER 20 MINUTES PRIOR. FML

#6365163
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (41758)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)

Taday I woke up with a ridiculous hangover an no memory of last night . I called mah friendho told me that looool I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers an chicken fingers in her fridge . I've been a vegetarian 4 15 years . big fat FML

#6355717
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11649) - you deserved it (46548)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

today mah condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas cuz someone's dog is peeing in the hall . I can't physically carry mah two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed babby stroller . FML

#6351761
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (3572)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

looool Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I hered a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. fat FML

#6340550
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (6691)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, While I Was In The Middle Of Making Love With My Boyfriend, I Mentioned Bringing Another Lady In The Picture To Spice It Up. He Looked At Me An Said "let's Ask Your Sister." He Then Got Dressed An Called Her. FML

#6334893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8887) - you deserved it (24783)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Taday Mah Sister Was Playing A Rock Star In A Play!! When She Got Home..!! She Told Me She Usd One Of Mah Old Guitars..!! Cuz I Told Her It Was Ok!! I Said She Could Take One To Practice On..!! Not Destroy On Stage!! FML

#6326232
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (3562)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I Calld My Mothar Who Is Vacationing In Florida With My Dad An Sistar. Bafora Thay Laft I Told Tham I Would Ba Vary Rasponsibla An That Thay Could Trust Ma. Tha Frst Thing Sha Askd Ma Is If All Tha Animals Wara Still Aliva. I Said Yas. I Lid. Har Favourita Cat Drownd In Tha Pool. FML

#6325781
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9472) - you deserved it (37369)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as a customar was trying on soma outfits, I lookad ovar at har husband fir his opinion. Tha rasponsa I got? Him licking his lips. Just than his wifa lookad up to saa ma gawking at him in shock. Sha yallad at ma to closa my lags an stop chacking out har man. FML

Today, feeling lyk I needed to relax, I ordered room service at mah hotel . When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in . I locked myself out of mah room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel . I had to go to the lobby to get a new key . big fat FML

#6321079
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8611) - you deserved it (23577)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control an use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until mah mother admitted to swapping mah pills an poking holes in mah condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61580) - you deserved it (3773)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after dating 4 almost five yeres, my boyfriend stated that I have a ( perfect an amazing personality ) but that my looks are not wat he ( envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with. ) In other words, I'm ugly. real FML

#6310965
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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