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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (4354)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (7201)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML

#8162555
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/12/2010 at 9:14am - love - by JustMyLuck (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33320) - you deserved it (2525)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

#8158175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26730) - you deserved it (2270)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20727) - you deserved it (4736)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

#8103902
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26916) - you deserved it (3082)

On 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by creepster (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17866) - you deserved it (7382)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

#8067706
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26417) - you deserved it (2833)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by spanishgirl101 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36406) - you deserved it (3398)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24710) - you deserved it (6959)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

#8021702
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8521) - you deserved it (23392)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Kaganate (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (3027)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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