Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (1735)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy I've been dating texted me to say he joined an online dating site. He must have thought I was the best person to share this information with. FML

#6145417
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (2324)

On 11/04/2009 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML

#6129254
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29960) - you deserved it (1644)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to come over, telling her I had a surprise. I filled the bathtub and lit a lot of candles to be romantic. She gets here, and we start doing our thing. Until we smell something burning. It was my hair. I now have a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#6111658
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13567) - you deserved it (25171)

On 11/01/2009 at 10:44pm - love - by CandlesSuck - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

#6106000
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8809) - you deserved it (52429)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML

#6075479
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34502) - you deserved it (2572)

On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to my university bookstore and tried to use my debit card to pay, but got the "Insufficient Funds" notification. I was buying a single postage stamp, which costs 57 cents. FML

#6071403
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25654) - you deserved it (8866)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:32pm - money - by poorcollegestudent (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

#6055815
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18617) - you deserved it (4705)

On 10/29/2009 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date with an employee from Sobey's who asked for my number while I was grocery shopping. We decided to each bring a friend. I brought my roommate. He brought his girlfriend. FML

#6049494
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (3434)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:11am - love - by lds124 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML

#6049453
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36858) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML

#6045813
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16802) - you deserved it (2748)

On 10/28/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by LadySteph12 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

#6030769
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18495) - you deserved it (3226)

On 10/27/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by timmynotjimmy (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: