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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, a man came up to me asking for my name. Thinking he was trying to hit on me, I rudely gave him a fake name. He thanked me and walked away. I continued to watch him leaving until I saw him ask another woman for her name and took out a wallet and showed it to her. It was my lost wallet. FML

#6019106
134 comments

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (4103)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to checking out other girls when he's with me. In his defense, "he doesn't look at their face or boobs. Just their ass." FML

#5989857
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15779) - you deserved it (4903)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:56am - intimacy - by pandroida (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

#5988986
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (4231)

On 10/25/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by HoShiz (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (6361)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

#5984372
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15256) - you deserved it (25616)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Badday (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (8842)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

#5972663
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26694) - you deserved it (6814)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

#5959934
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50461) - you deserved it (9928)

On 10/23/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ashleyramsay (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and ipod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML

#5958359
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (2647)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by abdominates (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

#5955590
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (7533)

On 10/23/2009 at 4:56am - work - by BoogieCandy. (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

#5942198
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (2989)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

#5939502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26749) - you deserved it (4264)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Chris (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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