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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was robbed at work. The guy stole my cell phone, bag, and laptop. Because of the robbery, I had to close the store two and a half hours early. My boss decided to dock my hours. FML

#8158175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (2270)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:44am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20710) - you deserved it (4734)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

#8103902
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (3080)

On 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by creepster (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17584) - you deserved it (7339)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

#8067706
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (2573)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by spanishgirl101 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

#8051143
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (3396)

On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mum was saying she needs to gain weight because she was underweight according to her doctor. She then said she's going to eat like me in order to gain more weight. FML

#8047035
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22470) - you deserved it (6603)

On 02/09/2010 at 9:26am - health - by mynameislor - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

#8021702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8234) - you deserved it (22729)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:32pm - misc - by Kaganate (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25753) - you deserved it (3025)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked past a group of men at the mall and one of them mooed at me. FML

#7916627
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (6530)

On 02/05/2010 at 9:18pm - misc - by LynnJ (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there was this girl in heels running in front of me at school, and she slipped on ice. Trying to be a hero, I dropped my backpack and ran up to help her, but ended up slipping and landing on her leg. As I walked back to my backpack, I found out I dropped my laptop and broke it. FML

#7908847
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (13199)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:27pm - misc - by POP101 (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had lunch with a co-worker, and after having a good talk and enjoying each others company, we got up to leave. Right before we said goodbye, she looked me right in the face and looking legitimately confused said "you know, I really don't understand why no one at work likes you." FML

#7865660
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29149) - you deserved it (2384)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by crazyclumzy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML

#7860912
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (2055)

On 02/03/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by UptoHERE (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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