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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42009) - you deserved it (8114)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11775) - you deserved it (47826)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

#12823670
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33404) - you deserved it (8038)

On 08/30/2010 at 4:10pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy, when suddenly he pulled out and told me that "he had another fat chick meeting him in twenty minutes." FML

#12800426
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36665) - you deserved it (15000)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14442) - you deserved it (28655)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

#12797792
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (4845)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (3909)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
50 comments

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (15363)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33800) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31310) - you deserved it (3716)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

#12731475
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28701) - you deserved it (9408)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by klutz (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33813) - you deserved it (5123)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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