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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (17558)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him but I hear him in the walls. FML

#8712644
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (2205)

On 02/28/2010 at 6:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9805) - you deserved it (30214)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34596) - you deserved it (2434)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

#8692922
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (2166)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:45pm - work - by mcfaily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that I spent a year helping my dad get back into shape, not for his own good health which was what I thought, but so that he could cheat on my mom with 5 other women. FML

#8670993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (2035)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:39pm - misc - by 0867142 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

#8632694
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26270) - you deserved it (2975)

On 02/25/2010 at 2:05am - misc - by thewordsicantsay (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spilled a glass of iced tea all over my desk. It trickled down the wall and fried an extension cord. FML

#8615940
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15962) - you deserved it (8374)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:43pm - misc - by dumbbass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years left me for a guy whose favorite color is camouflage. FML

#8612745
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35218) - you deserved it (5025)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a seizure at work. My boss walked by and saw me, but didn't help or do anything because he thought I was "picking something up off the floor." FML

#8607847
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30723) - you deserved it (1717)

On 02/24/2010 at 1:29am - work - by argh (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28700) - you deserved it (5505)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML

#8553099
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:11pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went skiing. Trying to show off to some inexperienced skiers, I flew past them at my top speed, a bracket snapped off my boot and I slid on my face for about 30 metres. FML

#8508631
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (33704)

On 02/21/2010 at 5:01am - love - by hoser - Canada (Alberta)



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