Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (30728)
On 05/22/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by dummy (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (49532)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we went out to dinner to a family restaurant, and I was wearing a skirt since it's so warm out. My 4 year old scooted under the table to sit next to his brother. When he popped up on the other side, he exclaimed, "Mommy! You forgot to put on your underwears!" People were staring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13318) - you deserved it (44927)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by whoopsiedoodle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I ordered more memory and a new hard drive for my computer. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31474) - you deserved it (6321)
On 05/20/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I made chicken noodle soup for the girl I've been seeing to help her get over her cold. From scratch. Everything fresh save for the canned chicken stock. It took an hour in preparation and half an hour to take the bus to her place. Her first words? The celery's not cooked enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40388) - you deserved it (5127)
On 05/20/2009 at 9:50pm - love - by chickennoodlesoup (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46775) - you deserved it (2866)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by dole_out_the_fml (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23026) - you deserved it (75275)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you deserved it (53360)
On 05/19/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by June (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10205) - you deserved it (40204)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (1974)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:17am - health - by OUCH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37771) - you deserved it (15260)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I was feeling rebellious, I decided to procrastinate instead of studying for my really important English test tomorrow. I was having a pretty good time until I realized my idea of procrastinating was cleaning my TI-83 graphing calculator with rubbing alcohol and Q-tips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15252) - you deserved it (37220)
On 05/19/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my daughter and I were at a school carnival. At the face painting station, she sat down and asked for a kitty on her face. Next, she shoved me on a chair and whispered something into the lady's ear. I ended up with a 'black eye' by request of my own daughter. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34718) - you deserved it (4094)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:22am - kids - by BeatenUpPup (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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