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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

#6365163
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5791) - you deserved it (41525)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (45751)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3410)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

#6340550
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22568) - you deserved it (6551)

On 11/17/2009 at 11:56am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML

#6334893
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8804) - you deserved it (24600)

On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister was playing a rock star in a play. When she got home, she told me she used one of my old guitars, because I told her it was ok. I said she could take one to practice on, not destroy on stage. FML

#6326232
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28155) - you deserved it (3552)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML

#6325781
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8757) - you deserved it (35397)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I looked over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML

Today, feeling like I needed to relax, I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished I went to put the tray outside not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room wearing happy face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML

#6321079
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8039) - you deserved it (22410)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58999) - you deserved it (3605)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

#6310965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML

#6297066
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8861) - you deserved it (33408)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text saying: "I don't think we can see each other anymore, the nights were great, but I think I'm falling in love with Julie". I'm Julie. FML

#6293828
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43121) - you deserved it (2495)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm - love - by JJ (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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