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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I ran into my manipulative ex-boyfriend at a party. We were chatting and I mentioned that the guys I have been seeing lately all turn out to be jerks. He says "yeah well you dumped me and don't deserve to be happy." Apparently he has been creeping and scaring off any guys interested in me. FML

#8938160
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32124) - you deserved it (3814)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:04am - love - by fu2then (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years left me because apparently I'm "too beautiful and he can no longer handle other guys always trying to flirt with me." FML

#8927721
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (6128)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:49pm - love - by dead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

#8915112
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8355) - you deserved it (33452)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

#8878424
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (4084)

On 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm - misc - by bathroomblunder (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20874) - you deserved it (5300)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while in bed, my nose became runny. Being as tired as I was, I decided to ignore it until the morning. Turns out it was a nose bleed, and my pillowcase is ruined. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

#8841470
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (4710)

On 03/05/2010 at 8:06am - love - by jonnah - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (3434)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML

#8830762
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34180) - you deserved it (2896)

On 03/04/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Brandee - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML

#8818369
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6109) - you deserved it (33485)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:52am - work - by EnemyofKarma (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

#8805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24446) - you deserved it (2856)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

#8797344
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21709) - you deserved it (7077)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:22am - intimacy - by Sorry (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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