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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13219) - you deserved it (37854)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

#13476444
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11080) - you deserved it (30420)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML

#13471271
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (4092)

On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML

#13462188
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11665) - you deserved it (45062)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML

#13455884
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (2542)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:05am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally admitted to two girls in my first year university astronomy class that I have a strict 10pm bedtime. FML

#13444529
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9831) - you deserved it (31961)

On 10/14/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by pathetic_girl (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML

#13439536
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (16997)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

#13429842
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (5265)

On 10/13/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by grow_fasterrr - (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

#13415176
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26152) - you deserved it (3408)

On 10/12/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by tdiz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

#13408997
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10273) - you deserved it (47374)

On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

#13403572
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33527) - you deserved it (5853)

On 10/11/2010 at 5:07am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11736) - you deserved it (65268)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

#13383261
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12862) - you deserved it (27276)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by PunctureWound - Canada (British Columbia)



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