FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

by whoawhoawhoa / 12/28/2010 at 5:04pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

by anonymous / 12/28/2010 at 1:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 12:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question". Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

by snoozerlooser / 12/24/2010 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

by Username / 12/23/2010 at 9:48am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

by screwed / 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. I happen to be allergic to all types of pain medication. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 3:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

by hugme101 / 12/19/2010 at 7:20pm / Canada / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

by unattractive / 12/18/2010 at 4:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy