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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (13143)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a telemarketer found me so weird that he hung up on me. FML

#13861798
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25901) - you deserved it (8438)

On 11/16/2010 at 3:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

#13854444
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37054) - you deserved it (6512)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in my backyard goofing around when he tried to pick me up. He couldn't. I jokingly tried to lift him. I did so without much effort. FML

#13854165
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (6945)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by kylie (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

#13829911
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31147) - you deserved it (3188)

On 11/13/2010 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML

#13825716
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45449) - you deserved it (4122)

On 11/13/2010 at 9:43am - work - by everythingWASperfect - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (5922)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then shows up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

#13811167
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30762) - you deserved it (4848)

On 11/12/2010 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29119) - you deserved it (5687)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17827) - you deserved it (37100)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I played a volleyball game at my school. Not only did I miss the winning point, the ball hit my face in the process, which resulted in popping a big fat zit on my nose. FML

#13797230
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (5017)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by iharethissomuxh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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