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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18327) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

#6837157
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10426) - you deserved it (24179)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Stella (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27530) - you deserved it (3136)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12464) - you deserved it (23825)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6168) - you deserved it (29725)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (3341)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

#6773256
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23947) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (2012)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML

#6770582
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (11040)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked "Are those your grand-children?" I'm in my 40's. FML

#6755152
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21838) - you deserved it (2295)

On 12/14/2009 at 8:30pm - work - by Shalamar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I told my husband that while he was away I had had a miscarriage. His response? "If you can't take care of our baby while it is still inside you, how can I trust you to take care of it when it comes out?" FML

#6752846
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36019) - you deserved it (2925)

On 12/14/2009 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by sadsadlady (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML

#6746306
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11060) - you deserved it (27515)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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