Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I took my date out for dinner to a seafood restaurant and she ordered expensive prawns. Later, when we had sex, she started to complain about her stomach hurting and then had diarrhea for hours. Great job prawns. FML

#12797792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30083) - you deserved it (4764)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Matt - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML

#12786559
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (3815)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

#12768878
49 comments

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML

#12757529
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (15050)

On 08/26/2010 at 4:06pm - love - by Ido (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

#12752229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (4281)

On 08/26/2010 at 5:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while grabbing a husk of corn out of the boiling hot pot, I splashed hot water on my neck, dropped the corn on my injured toe, and cut myself on the counters, all while my family laughed at my pain. FML

#12731475
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (9247)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by klutz (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, because I am pregnant with a weak bladder, I woke up with morning sickness and had to decide very quickly whether I wanted to vomit or pee in the toilet. I now have to clean the chunks off the wall. FML

#12719828
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32269) - you deserved it (4962)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:01pm - health - by prego - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

#12712941
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15003) - you deserved it (48344)

On 08/24/2010 at 12:21am - love - by perfectlybrokenx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (31304)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some of the similarites included looking under the hood and finding out how many previous owners there were. FML

#12655569
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (6980)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by carwife - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

#12655415
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30595) - you deserved it (3042)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:05am - health - by meowcat101 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

#12630401
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38333) - you deserved it (3321)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm - love - by Sara246 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: