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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I learned that while anybody can call me a bitch, my husband got mad at his aunt for calling our dog a mutt. FML

#6914800
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (3216)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:02am - love - by stupid_world (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

#6872030
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (3529)

On 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She is telling everyone I am the baby's father, my current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML

#6863042
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21560) - you deserved it (8405)

On 12/21/2009 at 10:23am - intimacy - by johnG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of having sex, my boyfriend of two years got a call. After taking the call, he said, "It's an emergency," and that he has to go. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me is wife is going into labour. FML

#6848390
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25954) - you deserved it (5125)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML

#6842444
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (3166)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

#6839284
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (4121)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:13am - money - by Fml37 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML

#6838288
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4460) - you deserved it (39507)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by Poser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sneezed seven times in a row. That's the closest thing I've had to an orgasm in months. FML

#6838088
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/19/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by omglifee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

#6837157
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10414) - you deserved it (24159)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Stella (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27491) - you deserved it (3135)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

#6793560
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12445) - you deserved it (23801)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm - animals - by ohmy (woman) - Canada

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6162) - you deserved it (29687)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

#6775724
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33323) - you deserved it (3339)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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