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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (36418)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They moved without telling me. FML

#10733987
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (18403)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

#10717478
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25674) - you deserved it (7149)

On 05/23/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (9507)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was feeling very ill after a severe anxiety attack. I asked my boyfriend to hold my hand until I fell asleep. He said he couldn't because he needed both hands to play on his gameboy. FML

#10705425
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34354) - you deserved it (6722)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:47am - love - by vikingunicorn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

#10705100
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36282) - you deserved it (8821)

On 05/23/2010 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24117) - you deserved it (3562)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

#10652042
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35435) - you deserved it (6942)

On 05/20/2010 at 5:32pm - misc - by fml - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I finally got a job interview, and I thought it went amazing. They were supposed to call me today or tomorrow with the news. Today is also the day that my phone company decided to cut my phone off. FML

#10648270
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (4903)

On 05/20/2010 at 12:58pm - work - by goodtiming (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I shaved my legs and pits for the first time this summer. It took 3 disposable razors and an hour to get the job done. I've clearly been single for far too long. FML

#10645029
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13865) - you deserved it (42920)

On 05/20/2010 at 7:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML

#10624729
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (4430)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:00am - love - by likesboys (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML

#10532654
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25649) - you deserved it (4367)

On 05/14/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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