Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (73921) - you deserved it (4954)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4048) - you deserved it (47826)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was supposed to hear back from a job I interviewed for. The guy called me and told me I got it. I said "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" He responded with "You're welcome Emily". My name isn't Emily, it's Kim. He got the numbers mixed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (1479)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by KimberleyIrene (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (8956)
On 07/20/2009 at 2:18am - love - by mchhhoi (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (2006)
On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking to work when I saw an empty pop can. Angry at whoever left it, I kicked it out of the way. Turns out it wasn't empty; it was filled with hornets. I had to run 2km to work while being attacked by a giant swarm of wasps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28760) - you deserved it (23606)
On 07/19/2009 at 10:14am - animals - by Isabelle18 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8216) - you deserved it (43184)
On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35895) - you deserved it (2956)
On 07/17/2009 at 7:14pm - misc - by tukker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend was teaching me to drive, and told me he agreed with the stereotype that women are worse drivers than men. I argued with him so heatedly about how it was just like a man to say something like that, that I drove through our garage doors because I wasn't paying attention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7598) - you deserved it (45647)
On 07/17/2009 at 5:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: "Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42426) - you deserved it (5567)
On 07/17/2009 at 11:54am - misc - by lawliet_L (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17691) - you deserved it (70582)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (2723)
On 07/16/2009 at 3:26am - misc - by megxox (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36501) - you deserved it (3352)
On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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