Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51289) - you deserved it (11847)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

yastarday I managad to punch a customar's child as ha walkad around tha cornar just as I anthusiastically pointad his mothar in tha diraction of wat sha was looking for. FML

#21217892
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (3851)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, mah boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either mah boobs or mah ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he putted his hand on mah butt, an not five minute later was snoring. fat FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40344) - you deserved it (6586)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was scrubbing ta bloody aftarmat of a succassful mousa trap off of my stova wit an old tootbrus. Aftar a faw good scrubs, out of abit I puttad ta tootbrus in my moutila I turnad on ta watar. FML

Today... I was out wit my boyfriend... wen e started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring... proposed to me rigt tere in front of a crowd... and ten was promptly denied a payment plan. We left witout a ring. FML

#21216427
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53178) - you deserved it (4895)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

yesterday I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

#21212818
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36077) - you deserved it (4671)

On 07/18/2014 at 11:49am - work - by tuck87 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I trid to impress my boyfriend by slowly backing up and biting my lip to get him to come closer and kiss me. I endd up smacking the back of my head against a brick looool wall. FML

Today, I Was Singing In The Shower, Not Realising The Window Was Open. When I Got Out, The Neighbours Were At The Front Door, Loudly Arguing With Mah Mother. They Were Complaining About Mah Awful Singing. FML

#21207963
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38884) - you deserved it (6514)

On 07/13/2014 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my nieghbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40396) - you deserved it (6135)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at mah football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from mah teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. mega FML

#21203602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37771) - you deserved it (17668)

On 07/09/2014 at 1:38am - kids - by whoops - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got calld a cunt at work by a customer . What could I have said that could have causd them to say that? "Have a great day." mega FML

#21201129
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38865) - you deserved it (3536)

On 07/06/2014 at 11:39pm - work - by notoneatall - Canada (Ontario)

I woke up to mah young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into mah leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar 4 the rest of mah life. FML

#21199181
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51135) - you deserved it (4896)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Taday I overeard my moter talking to er friend... and using me as an example of ow it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47036) - you deserved it (4691)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: