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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

#21004509
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (6544)

On 12/25/2013 at 2:46am - love - by lonely otaku (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51678) - you deserved it (14899)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

#20998272
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (3864)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by ;_; (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

#20997471
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (2641)

On 12/18/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by bf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (6768)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (5981)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

#20995776
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36472) - you deserved it (2862)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38491) - you deserved it (3828)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53029) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

#20992659
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (3676)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52364) - you deserved it (7284)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48907) - you deserved it (4479)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

#20991205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39398) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/13/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by religiunatic (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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