Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

#21439620
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter slipped on ceramic tile and I had to take her to the ER for 5 stitches to her chin. When we got home, I promptly split her chin open again as I over enthusiastically re-enacted how she fell to my husband and accidentally clocked her square in the chin. FML

#21439345
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (15389)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:27am - kids - by clutzymama (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I folded a stack of 2,500 brochures for the new exhibit we're putting on at the museum where I work. As I was finishing up, I got an email. The dates have just been changed, so all the brochures have to be reprinted and refolded. FML

#21439015
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (1835)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML

#21438428
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24557) - you deserved it (2739)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by grossed out mom - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
70 comments

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (12125)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

#21435915
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (3283)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24104) - you deserved it (1611)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29049) - you deserved it (2632)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (8459)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (2448)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

#21432224
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (2682)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by mytoehurts - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24702) - you deserved it (1870)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: