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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you deserved it (3162)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35509) - you deserved it (2547)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (4782)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding, because she found out I had sex with another woman. Three years before we even met. FML

#20878703
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60726) - you deserved it (6354)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by Crazy Crazy Crazy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32341) - you deserved it (11754)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15660) - you deserved it (80787)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42759) - you deserved it (3895)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

#20873371
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44174) - you deserved it (3790)

On 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, my neighbour was practicing his opera singing, drunk. FML

#20869663
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30268) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm - misc - by Thesuz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

#20869282
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33280) - you deserved it (2047)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by Zuzubat (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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