Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66033) - you deserved it (3931)
On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (7185)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50306) - you deserved it (15465)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48634) - you deserved it (3737)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (2638)
On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37589) - you deserved it (2157)
On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33097) - you deserved it (5536)
On 05/21/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by psuedodragon (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43900) - you deserved it (3661)
On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (5893)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43212) - you deserved it (2799)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (14219)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37092) - you deserved it (4725)
On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37118) - you deserved it (3966)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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