Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40201) - you deserved it (3086)
On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42634) - you deserved it (7746)
On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49253) - you deserved it (9303)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44394) - you deserved it (5803)
On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (4415)
On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45657) - you deserved it (7529)
On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53469) - you deserved it (5676)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34214) - you deserved it (5244)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36995) - you deserved it (9208)
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33817) - you deserved it (3334)
On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (51714)
Today, I popped a pimple while stopped at a red light. When I looked over the woman in the car next to me was hysterically laughing, and had her camera phone out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35093) - you deserved it (13307)
On 04/28/2013 at 6:28am - health - by msarosi - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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