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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

#21374975
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24) - you deserved it (2327)

On 03/15/2015 at 11:01am - health - by lordtimbit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (7802)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I googled for an hour how to open my CD player on my laptop. Turns out, there is none. They just put a space there to make it look like a CD player. FML

#21372194
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (2)

On 03/10/2015 at 11:03pm - misc - by Blonde - Canada (Ontario)

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28554) - you deserved it (6945)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

#21370634
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (2636)

On 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm - misc - by uglyshoegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21369265
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28158) - you deserved it (1922)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

#21368246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (2469)

On 03/04/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by neverforgetyourphone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

#21367801
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41048) - you deserved it (3437)

On 03/04/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Highnapple - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26460) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13933) - you deserved it (48681)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29884) - you deserved it (2659)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3) - you deserved it (4790)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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