Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, I found out I'm allergic to our new cat. My mom said she'd rather get rid of me than the cat. FML

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

#21251459
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (3384)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:31pm - work - by anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37685) - you deserved it (3345)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34744) - you deserved it (2797)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (3376)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43589) - you deserved it (4357)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3211)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45020) - you deserved it (2772)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30799) - you deserved it (5441)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML

#21244545
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (2831)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:19pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49187) - you deserved it (5600)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (2908)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (3003)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: