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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my brother's girlfriend broke up with him. He has been playing Whitney Houston's "I will always love you" all day. FML

#19045802 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (4844) - you deserved it (487)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:23am - love - by annon - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

#19045630 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (3285) - you deserved it (582)

On 02/11/2012 at 12:57am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I watched "The Vow" with my girlfriend. When the movie ended, we walked out to the theatre's lobby, and I heard her mutter, "I deserve a guy like him." FML

#19043641 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (4799) - you deserved it (1246)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:06pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

#19042625 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (1507) - you deserved it (4351)

On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML

#19033421 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (1187)

On 02/09/2012 at 10:17am - love - by Zoey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (4968) - you deserved it (1235)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (6104) - you deserved it (694)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

#18980797 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (10690) - you deserved it (634)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

#18968605 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (18584) - you deserved it (1733)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (7009) - you deserved it (1508)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (4785) - you deserved it (1643)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, I came home to the nanny passed out on the couch from too much alcohol, my 2-year-old alone and locked in the bathroom, and my house in a complete wreck. To top it off, it's the day my mother in law, who hates me, is coming to visit from New York. FML

#18949118 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (951)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:24am - kids - by myself - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

#18940266 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (7141) - you deserved it (549)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by hopeless cluts (woman) - Canada (Ontario)