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FMLs submitted from Canada

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposefully poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3872) - you deserved it (506)

On 05/22/2015 at 4:11pm - misc - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

#21411475
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (1735)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:47pm - love - by hobo - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had the most excitement I have felt in the last two months when I went to a drugstore and they had my favourite bandaids. FML

#21410948
68 comments

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

#21410694
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (2479)

On 05/15/2015 at 8:51pm - misc - by pasha - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (2329)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother yelled at me, telling me I'm irresponsible and lecturing me on how I need to "plan ahead like an adult." All because I asked to borrow a tampon. FML

#21408920
131 comments

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21408360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (3885)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30251) - you deserved it (3002)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

#21406694
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2787)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:44am - misc - by brittrus - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (3357)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29868) - you deserved it (3588)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

#21401985
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28778) - you deserved it (3232)

On 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by sexandanxiety (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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