Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35481) - you deserved it (2257)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (12303)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (4109)
On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34386) - you deserved it (3762)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32204) - you deserved it (9927)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (1957)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48056) - you deserved it (4181)
On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (4448)
On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada
Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36798) - you deserved it (1789)
On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51530) - you deserved it (3536)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39958) - you deserved it (3076)
On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42248) - you deserved it (7700)
On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48836) - you deserved it (9270)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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