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FMLs submitted from Brazil

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

#21398409
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27222) - you deserved it (8029)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by almost_a_pro - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, while discussing my grades with my mother, she told me that when she was my age she was dumb but hardworking, and my dad was lazy but very smart. She then added, "You managed to get the worst out of each of us." FML

#21372077
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (3147)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:19pm - misc - by Daughter of the year - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a job I desperately wanted. Yesterday, the job offer I'd been stalling on in while waiting for news about this one expired. FML

#21367239
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (9226)

On 03/03/2015 at 12:18pm - work - by badtiming (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML

#21348979
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30627) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/03/2015 at 11:59am - kids - by wtfdaughter - Brazil (Pernambuco)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39107) - you deserved it (4004)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

#21286990
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31812) - you deserved it (4420)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm - health - by not drunk (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

#21263926
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28932) - you deserved it (3194)

On 09/23/2014 at 4:19pm - work - by disconnected (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML

#21195553
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41751) - you deserved it (11395)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36908) - you deserved it (3504)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "mom" while at work. FML

#20901049
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (2458)

On 09/29/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, while mourning my friend's recent passing, my dad told me to shut the fuck up because "worse things are going on in the world". FML

#20782358
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51291) - you deserved it (4324)

On 07/14/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML

#20683669
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51845) - you deserved it (9314)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

#20637622
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53891) - you deserved it (3529)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil



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