FMLs submitted from Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2012 at 3:30am / Belgium / Kids

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm / Belgium (Brabant Wallon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

by Jim / 01/10/2012 at 8:32pm / Belgium / Work

Today, I got punched in the face by a drunk because I couldn't give him any cigarettes. I don't smoke. FML

by Jbs4lf / 12/26/2011 at 10:15pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids

Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML

by dullstuff / 07/21/2011 at 8:34am / Belgium (Liege) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2011 at 11:46am / Belgium (Liege) / Health

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

by Someguy / 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Love

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 10:00am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

by Diesel / 05/03/2011 at 10:23am / Belgium (Luxembourg) / Transportation

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

by teinage / 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Transportation

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

by upliftmofo / 03/28/2011 at 1:56am / Belgium / Animals

Today, I decided to have dinner with three friends to forget about the painful break up with my boyfriend. The first friend announced that she and her boyfriend had just bought a house, the second one that he was no longer single, and the third one revealed that she was pregnant. FML

by marie12 / 03/26/2011 at 9:19pm / Belgium (Brabant) / Love