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FMLs submitted from Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9198) - you deserved it (35836)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML

#17201807
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35393) - you deserved it (12829)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by dullstuff (man) - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40131) - you deserved it (2402) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

#16531117
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12720) - you deserved it (49786)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:55pm - love - by Someguy (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

#16370562
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36824) - you deserved it (3730)

On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML

#16030983
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39143) - you deserved it (4222)

On 05/03/2011 at 10:23am - misc - by Diesel (man) - Belgium (Luxembourg)

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

#16019769
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34512) - you deserved it (2899)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by teinage - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

#15525656
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (5470)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:56am - animals - by upliftmofo - Belgium

Today, I decided to have dinner with three friends to forget about the painful break up with my boyfriend. The first friend announced that she and her boyfriend had just bought a house, the second one that he was no longer single, and the third one revealed that she was pregnant. FML

#15504031
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36212) - you deserved it (4569)

On 03/26/2011 at 9:19pm - love - by marie12 (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39158) - you deserved it (4533)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59425) - you deserved it (6132) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

#14191427
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37834) - you deserved it (3171)

On 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm - kids - by crazycora (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

#13961412
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26708) - you deserved it (9793)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)



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