Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Belgium

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45980) - you deserved it (3149)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10267) - you deserved it (55726)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10297) - you deserved it (32088)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (23799)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (4433)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15819) - you deserved it (3524)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

#19201046
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (2716)

On 03/02/2012 at 3:30am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

#19042129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (2098)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (Brabant Wallon)

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

#18769470
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8653) - you deserved it (33986)

On 01/10/2012 at 8:32pm - work - by Jim (man) - Belgium

Today, I got punched in the face by a drunk because I couldn't give him any cigarettes. I don't smoke. FML

#18619615
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (1661)

On 12/26/2011 at 10:15pm - misc - by Jbs4lf (man) - Belgium

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8621) - you deserved it (34333)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium

Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML

#17201807
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (11205)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:34am - misc - by dullstuff (man) - Belgium (Liege)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: