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FMLs submitted from Belgium

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

#21261219
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33796) - you deserved it (3175)

On 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

#21261117
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (5182)

On 09/19/2014 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (2641)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

#21157433
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37525) - you deserved it (4371)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:33pm - misc - by save me (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

#21099355
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37480) - you deserved it (6479)

On 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm - animals - by Galaxy (man) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (3704)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41024) - you deserved it (5047)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41937) - you deserved it (6158)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

#20813339
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53460) - you deserved it (8508)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47631) - you deserved it (9268)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47636) - you deserved it (13593)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

#20697100
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (3308)

On 05/31/2013 at 9:54am - misc - by cantwin (man) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)



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