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FMLs submitted from Austria

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

#19780392
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25566) - you deserved it (2124)

On 06/13/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by eww - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (4702)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11875) - you deserved it (41279)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (4028)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

#19636486
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (3063)

On 05/17/2012 at 11:02am - love - by Vero (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (17722)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31837) - you deserved it (2432)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (11343)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

#13103796
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (2683)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:36pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

#12000317
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10149) - you deserved it (38674)

On 07/20/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Lana (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

#7396804
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33729) - you deserved it (2596)

On 01/17/2010 at 11:22am - love - by anonymous (man) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

#6404415
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (16976)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by nolinguist (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML

#1962577
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (2463)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)



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