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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Austria

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (5255)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML

#17104731 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (11851) - you deserved it (833)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

#16830734 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (19203) - you deserved it (8404)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:57am - health - by chaoticnh - Austria

Today, my bag, including phone, money, keys and cards, was stolen. In a church. During my wedding. FML

#13103796 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (33013) - you deserved it (1777)

On 09/18/2010 at 8:36pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Tirol)

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

#12000317 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (7692) - you deserved it (26976)

On 07/20/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Lana (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend, who I've dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

#7396804 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (25209) - you deserved it (1701)

On 01/17/2010 at 11:22am - love - by anonymous (man) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

#6404415 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you deserved it (12615)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by nolinguist (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I was standing on the packed bus home when I had a speck of dust in my lenses. As I couldn't rub it out, I tried blinking it out for the next five minutes. Then the hot girl opposite me screams "Stop winking at me, you bastard! Don't even think about it, you ugly fuck!" FML

#1962577 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (24954) - you deserved it (1461)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by ballerphilip23 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

#640480 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (15532) - you deserved it (65364)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

#262388 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (67815) - you deserved it (4683)

On 03/10/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by rebecca (woman) - Austria (Wien)