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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

#6893264
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9986) - you deserved it (30633)

On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got my first tip. It was a Mentos. FML

#6861005
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (5415)

On 12/21/2009 at 4:33am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

#6859062
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4374) - you deserved it (50303)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11459) - you deserved it (36075)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

#6850424
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26100) - you deserved it (7180)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Suicidal (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

#6824662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28337) - you deserved it (4623)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML

#6806801
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31726) - you deserved it (2974)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:42am - misc - by Mogg (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

#6789121
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (5691)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

#6774546
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11098) - you deserved it (25290)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by babyfatt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (12948)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing a study on homeless people and how they manage to stay alive on the streets. Turns out the one I was studying today was given more money than I make in a week. FML

#6705143
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (2682)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

#6697068
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28592) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by BabyBeardy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I didn't get promoted, but the guy who showed up to work drunk a few weeks ago did. FML

#6691372
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (2798)

On 12/10/2009 at 5:38am - work - by Hmmwtf (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)



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