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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML

#5698156
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13377) - you deserved it (37071)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoeaddiikt (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

#5681273
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (8625)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

#5618437
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16607) - you deserved it (3489)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:20am - intimacy - by lauz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

#5618251
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49991) - you deserved it (4605)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML

#5616852
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36358) - you deserved it (2353)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by ColdFoot (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33523) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

#5600521
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30944) - you deserved it (10144)

On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50m down the street so that I would be confused when I come out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

#5547295
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/29/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML

#5543779
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (4816)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by arghh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I removed the safety padding from around the trampoline because it seemed useless. This afternoon, I did a backflip, got my hair stuck in the springs, ripped out a chunk of my hair, and face planted it into the brick pavers. FML

#5501456
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (73697)

On 09/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by Not-so-good-gymnast (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright, with all there sex toys in it. FML

#5464453
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17754) - you deserved it (5397)

On 09/25/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by R-R-R-Ray (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to listen to my mum and grandma planning a funeral for my grandpa. Who isn't dead yet. FML



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