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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (2515)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while on my graveyard shift at an inner-city backpackers lodge, a drunk pissed in a dorm at 4am. I had to clean up after him, wash all the luggage that got dowsed, clean up 2 separate piles of puke, and help 3 drunken Brits back to their room while they abused me. I have a science degree. FML

#8468411
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (3518)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:29am - work - by underachiever (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (3783)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

#8437368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24857) - you deserved it (5664)

On 02/19/2010 at 6:52am - kids - by JJ101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML

#8435520
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8549) - you deserved it (19707)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

#8434692
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (2309)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:38am - animals - by somuchforthat (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

#8433301
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23584) - you deserved it (3859)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by kaitlin - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML

#8388243
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (5271)

On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (7364)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

#8330425
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (2825)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

#8223058
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (9257)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm - love - by AnnaNick (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30542) - you deserved it (2579)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

#8082566
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24764) - you deserved it (4041)

On 02/10/2010 at 6:47am - love - by kstaa - Australia (New South Wales)



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