Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34209) - you deserved it (5125)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

#6517705
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (3091)

On 11/29/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML

#6443277
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (7103)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:45am - work - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML

#6401579
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7724) - you deserved it (32300)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - animals - by jaydiv (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (6946)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

#6389255
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42891) - you deserved it (3461)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it- and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML

#6371102
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9287) - you deserved it (30336)

On 11/19/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML

#6365565
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27504) - you deserved it (3117)

On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, whilst singing at school in front of 300 visiting primary school children I forgot the second verse to my song and let out an F*** word with the microphone still up to my face. FML

#6364461
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7378) - you deserved it (33807)

On 11/19/2009 at 1:10am - kids - by fail (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML

Today, I was finally discharged from hospital after being in there for one month, I arrive home to find a letter from a debt collection agency for my unpaid car insurance premium, and another letter from my car insurer to say that they aren't covering my accident due to non payment of premium. FML

#6339053
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25928) - you deserved it (3493)

On 11/17/2009 at 6:48am - misc - by Chriso (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I started my first day as a security guard. After spending three years and $30,000 to become a commercial pilot, only to be told on my yearly medical that I suddenly have type 1 diabetes, and will never fly again. FML

Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

#6323908
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23822) - you deserved it (3487)

On 11/16/2009 at 5:40am - work - by bakergirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: