Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

#4676323
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (41681)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by guitar_chick7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8127) - you deserved it (51100)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54053) - you deserved it (2853)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was trying to get money out of an ATM. It gave me twenty dollars short, so I started hitting it and kicking it, just as the Chubb security guys came up to refill it. I got tazered. Twice. FML

#4595424
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19862) - you deserved it (40934)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:42am - money - by SnakeEyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

#4594322
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7144) - you deserved it (45743)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to the movies alone after the boy I was seeing told me he was busy studying for exams. I found him making out with another girl whilst in the queue. When I confronted him by text he denied that it was him. I saw him check the text and reply. FML

#4545091
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42204) - you deserved it (3876)

On 08/15/2009 at 6:22am - misc - by pink_cupcakes - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41989) - you deserved it (6622)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94204) - you deserved it (4542)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

#4468950
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (5158)

On 08/12/2009 at 3:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

#4446947
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40400) - you deserved it (13347)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I competed in a ballet competition and made the finals, while I was on stage awaiting the results, I sneezed really loudly and snot went flying all over the stage. When I went to accept my award the woman presenting it refused to shake my hand. FML

#4389792
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (7725)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

#4331157
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59898) - you deserved it (3592)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Shopgirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

#4329810
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54664) - you deserved it (2524)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:10am - misc - by slamo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: