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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML

#6146707
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (8927)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51am - love - by BlackCheetah101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

#6132139
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (4188)

On 11/03/2009 at 6:02am - money - by I_Lossed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

#6131702
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (23866)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Lovestupid (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my friends created a fake Facebook profile of a girl, and asked me to be in a relationship. Even my friends think I can't get a real girlfriend, and need a fake one to feel better. FML

#6116492
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26867) - you deserved it (3944)

On 11/02/2009 at 7:41am - misc - by chocolaterabbit - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML

#6095339
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31944) - you deserved it (3419)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

#6080955
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (22927)

On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that whenever a mistake is made at my work, my boss assumes that it was me, unless indicated otherwise, but he has never said anything to me about it because of my 'learning disorder'. I don't have a learning disorder. FML

#6078927
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (2201)

On 10/31/2009 at 1:20am - work - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

#6078345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (4729)

On 10/31/2009 at 12:34am - animals - by catwoman (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (1787)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that just because I get unwanted erections on an hourly basis throughout the day, it doesn't mean that I can get required erections in the night. FML

#6065212
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17993) - you deserved it (2085)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:17am - intimacy - by frustrated (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML

#6050280
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9712) - you deserved it (38305)

On 10/29/2009 at 1:15am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

#6036914
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (3181)

On 10/28/2009 at 7:00am - misc - by Rhea (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took my car through the car wash. I got bored, so turned the radio on, forgetting that the aerial/antenna on the car is automatic. My car aerial is now bent at a 90 degree angle and about to fall off. The radio is half white noise, half stuff that may or may not be free jazz jam sessions. FML

#6036735
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (30305)

On 10/28/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by ohsnap (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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