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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML

#5337974
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (5978)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said "Ok, now I can just block every message from you." And walked away from me. FML

#5328809
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (3825)

On 09/18/2009 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got my period. 10 minutes into a 3 hour exam. Apparently they are serious when they say you may not leave the room under any circumstances. FML

#5310287
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49788) - you deserved it (3252)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:59am - health - by cramps (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21307) - you deserved it (75866)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you deserved it (64273)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my (now former) best friend kicked me out of the band I started because I wasn't 'dedicated enough' after a 3 day 'holiday' to visit my dying uncle. He also during this 3 day 'holiday' convinced my girl friend to leave me and date him. FML

#5287985
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49685) - you deserved it (2709)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:25am - misc - by dj163 (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

#5283658
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (3743)

On 09/15/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after thirteen years of engagement, my fiancé and I split. As is, with the day, we changed our facebook relationships to make it official. I logged back on tonight to find his mother, the woman I've spent the last year looking after and having a good time, 'liking' the break up. FML

#5269960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (5372)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:10am - love - by ohIlike (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin and in a puddle of my own wee. FML

#5268497
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6833) - you deserved it (26641)

On 09/15/2009 at 4:13am - intimacy - by mybad7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (2729)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realised that the man who I wanted to be with, the man who wanted to be with me, and my husband were three different people. FML

#5224177
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39461) - you deserved it (22187)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - love - by sunburychick (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

#5203639
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37668) - you deserved it (4685)

On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML

#5203219
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (7030)

On 09/12/2009 at 7:53am - misc - by Lonely (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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