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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was at a Remembrance Day service when an old widow told me I had my "grandad's" medals on the wrong side of my coat. I told her that I was an Afghanistan veteran and that they were mine. She then berated me in front of the WHOLE service for "lying". FML

#6251729
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39385) - you deserved it (2402)

On 11/10/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by Danners88 (man) - Australia

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML

#6240777
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5462) - you deserved it (54952)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:33am - love - by Uh-oh (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (4630)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13116) - you deserved it (47328)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML

#6192333
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you deserved it (8692)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:47am - intimacy - by forewhatnow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24373) - you deserved it (4799)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

#6178277
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38801) - you deserved it (7560)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by obese_chicken (woman) - Australia

Today, a customer complimented me on how good I looked for my age. She thought I was in my forties. I'm 18. FML

#6175316
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32404) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:29pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

#6164199
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17042) - you deserved it (2785)

On 11/05/2009 at 5:25am - intimacy - by Cate (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do. I'm an undergraduate accountant and I've been working there for 2 years. Oh and I started out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion". FML

#6164042
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27979) - you deserved it (2042)

On 11/05/2009 at 4:44am - work - by hatemyjob - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (4746)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend "You're kidding, right?" FML

#6146707
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37135) - you deserved it (8921)

On 11/04/2009 at 1:51am - love - by BlackCheetah101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

#6132139
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37977) - you deserved it (4184)

On 11/03/2009 at 6:02am - money - by I_Lossed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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