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FMLs submitted from Australia

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

#5737700
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (9326)

On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in a fancy department store. I was wearing my travel backpack. I was turning around after paying at the checkout and my backpack hit a metre-tall display covered with necklaces. It went crashing to the floor, hitting another display table laden with jewelry that collapsed under it. FML

#5736193
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (9090)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:46am - misc - by two-hours-to-pick-up (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

#5719624
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31793) - you deserved it (2212)

On 10/08/2009 at 9:31am - money - by wheatsnake (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML

#5718785
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (10258)

On 10/08/2009 at 6:24am - money - by clecker (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML

#5699135
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8938) - you deserved it (26310)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in an exam and was chewing the end of my pen, stuck on a question. My mouth filled up with ink. I wasn't allowed to leave, so I had to sit for another hour with a foul-tasting blue tongue and a half-working pen. FML

#5698156
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12253) - you deserved it (35115)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoeaddiikt (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

#5681273
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35009) - you deserved it (8303)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I slept for the first time with my boyfriend. I'd always imagined it to be a romantic moment. It turned out that 'Saw 5' was on the TV in the background, and the sex was so fantastically tragic that I ended up watching/listening to it, on the sly. FML

#5618437
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11881) - you deserved it (2569)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:20am - intimacy - by lauz (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

#5618251
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43717) - you deserved it (3630)

On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my train was canceled so my ticket expired by the time another train arrived. I was fined $90 by ticket inspectors 'cause my claim that the early train didn't run was "unsubstantiated". Leaving the train I was pushed by the crowd, fell, lost a shoe and had to walk home with one bare foot. FML

#5616852
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (1952)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by ColdFoot (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. Via text. With the iPhone I got him for our anniversary. FML

#5601325
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML

#5600521
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (9867)

On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML



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